Welcome back! Buckle up buttercup, we are about to hit some rough terrain.
Fast forward to the age of ten and here comes puberty. This is when I began to notice changes in my legs. They were very subtle for the first year or two, starting mainly in my upper thighs. By the age of 14 I was beginning to become self-conscious of my legs, especially my knees. Only wearing shorts when I had to, mainly when the temperature climbed up towards to 40s. At the time I wasn't aware of lipoedema. I just thought that I was getting fat. Yet I still played sports, ate the same, nothing other than hormones had changed. If anything the sport increased! I played in association teams for both netball and basketball year after year. Trips to Adelaide to play in carnivals, or to compete in state athletic competitions. Yet my legs continued to get bigger. Weird right!?
By the age of sixteen I was almost exclusively wearing 3/4 pants or longer. If I couldn't stand the look of my legs, what were other people going to think?? It wasn't until recently that I realised the impact this disease had on me as a teenager. At the time I just internalised and got on with life. Now, I wish that I had a guardian angel who could have told me that it wasn't my fault or anything I could have stopped from happening. Maybe then I wouldn't have spent the better part of my life being ashamed of the way I looked. And yes, I mean ashamed. Ashamed that I was 'fat'. Ashamed that my legs jiggled no matter how much sport I played. Ashamed that I didn't look like all of my friends who had these lovely shaped legs and looked amazing in shorts and dresses. Ashamed that I didn't look like all the girls in the Girlfriend or Dolly magazines I used to read (yes I am that old!!).
ASHAMED - My main feeling towards my body from such a young age until well, now. To be continued… (Yes, you have to wait…again!)
You made it! Hope the ride wasn't too bumpy. Stay tuned, there is still rough road ahead. Much love, Katie
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